Today’s adulting hack is all about how to build your confidence.

What I’ve found is that when my clients are struggling with confidence, they always have a running dialogue in their head. It usually sounds like a harsh drill sergeant beating them up and putting them down.

There’s a myth that if you mentally beat yourself up, it’ll give you the motivation you need to feel better.

Long story short – it doesn’t. It makes it worse.

Confidence is like a muscle.

Every day when you make the conscious choice to think differently about yourself and your abilities, you’re building your confidence muscle.

The more you practice this exercise, the more confident you’ll feel.

Here’s how to build your confidence:

It’s this crazy thing called “acceptance.” You make the choice to accept yourself for who you are and where you are, right here, right now, like now. I know, I know, this seems like the opposite of what you should do – let me explain.

By accepting yourself, you’re saying to yourself both consciously and unconsciously – I’m OK, flaws and all. When we hide from something or pretend that it’s not there or not really happening, we give it a life of its own. We unintentionally shame ourselves and that doesn’t build your confidence muscle – it breaks it down and makes it weaker.

Next time you catch yourself beating the crap out of yourself, stop, take a deep breath and say, “I love and accept myself.”

Do this every day for 7 days and check back in and see how you feel. You’ll find you have more confidence in yourself and what you can achieve.

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